How frustrating it must be, when one realizes that most of your decisions are not yours to make, that most of your life choices are picked by someone else, that you have a voice, but someone else speaks for you. That, in short, is life of a woman in India.
It starts right from birth - whether a female foetus will ever see the light of the day, to growing old respectably - whether she will be taken good care of or not, and everything that happens in between.
The birth of girl child is dependent on the sex of other children the parents may have, the beliefs of in-laws and the society that she is taking birth in. The chances go down considerably, if parents already have girl child and the in-laws are overbearing.
Once born, whether she will get good food or good education depends on whether there is enough left after male sibling's needs have been taken care.
Nearing marriage age, whether she gets a compatible partner or not is all about chance. In our arranged marriage system, it is true for the boy as well, but in case of girl, it is more so. She has to really count on her good luck to land into a good, considerate and loving family. She does not marry a man, she marries an entire family. Hence forth, it is not just the husband who makes the decisions for her, but his extended family members consider their right to do so too. Whether she is able to pursue her ambitions, interest or professional carrier, as she desires, is dependent on how others in the family feel about it. When to have children, when to go to her parents house, when to relax during the day, what day to wash clothes and hair, what to cook, how to cook, what to wear and countless other items, are handed down to her as advice, that "must" be followed. If she dares to not follow the advice and the so called "culture" of the family she married into, she opens herself to cold stares and barbs, at the least, and unspeakable consequences, at the worst.
The most frustrating, I guess, is the time and stage when the oppressed takes on the role of an oppressor. This happens at middle age in life of a woman. During world war II, Nazis had appointed Jews as guards at the concentration camps, these Jew guards were many time more ruthless on their fellow Jews than the Nazis. Something similar plays out here. The executioner however can never be at peace, can one?
Later stage in life, the roles reverse one more time, now the oppressor is again weak and meek. There is new lady master in the house, and the cycle goes on!
It starts right from birth - whether a female foetus will ever see the light of the day, to growing old respectably - whether she will be taken good care of or not, and everything that happens in between.
The birth of girl child is dependent on the sex of other children the parents may have, the beliefs of in-laws and the society that she is taking birth in. The chances go down considerably, if parents already have girl child and the in-laws are overbearing.
Once born, whether she will get good food or good education depends on whether there is enough left after male sibling's needs have been taken care.
Nearing marriage age, whether she gets a compatible partner or not is all about chance. In our arranged marriage system, it is true for the boy as well, but in case of girl, it is more so. She has to really count on her good luck to land into a good, considerate and loving family. She does not marry a man, she marries an entire family. Hence forth, it is not just the husband who makes the decisions for her, but his extended family members consider their right to do so too. Whether she is able to pursue her ambitions, interest or professional carrier, as she desires, is dependent on how others in the family feel about it. When to have children, when to go to her parents house, when to relax during the day, what day to wash clothes and hair, what to cook, how to cook, what to wear and countless other items, are handed down to her as advice, that "must" be followed. If she dares to not follow the advice and the so called "culture" of the family she married into, she opens herself to cold stares and barbs, at the least, and unspeakable consequences, at the worst.
The most frustrating, I guess, is the time and stage when the oppressed takes on the role of an oppressor. This happens at middle age in life of a woman. During world war II, Nazis had appointed Jews as guards at the concentration camps, these Jew guards were many time more ruthless on their fellow Jews than the Nazis. Something similar plays out here. The executioner however can never be at peace, can one?
Later stage in life, the roles reverse one more time, now the oppressor is again weak and meek. There is new lady master in the house, and the cycle goes on!
Ultimate!!
ReplyDeleteVery true and no words to praise your thoughts.
You have two admirers now :- My wife has joined the brigade:)
Glad you and your wife liked it! :)
DeleteNot sure how Far it is true today. I feel in today's world, Mother needs to worry more to protect his son ? than Daughter ? Women have reached to stage ( New gen i ma talking about ), where Boys are getting exploited more.
ReplyDeleteThis is my opinion.